Thanksgiving .... thanks

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Breaking news: Lions throwback sucks

Well, this picture about sums up my feelings for the pitiful Lions throwback effort. The most pointless and nondescript piece of puke ever foisted on a fashion hungry football fandom.

No helmet logo? No biggie. Titans don't have one, ditto Browns and half of Pittsburgh. No helmet stripe? Ok, I guess they were maybe depicting a Uni from a "before helmets" time frame.

Plain jersey, no interesting font, one color. Hmmm... Plain pants, no stripe? I'm no historian but I think they had invented pants stripes as early as the thirties. Perhaps all the cloth striping was being diverted as priority to make fan belts for Henry Fords assembly line... Alright, maybe they just had nothing to draw on but when you add up, well there's really nothing to add up.

It's just a big giant blank canvas turd of a throwback. How fitting that it comes from a team that resides in the swamps of the Fashion power rankings with their regular threads.

Not being nasty just to be nasty but I think the brain trust in Detroit needs a "Snap out of it!" slap.

Or maybe its time to forget about half measures and just load up the trusty double barrel and take this franchise out behind the woodshed and put it out of it's misery.

Messin' wit da Pats Mojo

In the spirit of "Best of Krusty" I've decided to reprise some images and columns just because I like them and want people to see them again. I'm starting with this Ambiguously gay duo-like Patriots logo.
Hopefully my Patriot fan friends see it and if so it should weaken their mojo going into this huge Jets - Pats game for first place in the AFC east.
Seriously, if you were the Pats center would you want this guys hands anywhere near your crotch?

I've put this picture below in to erase that horrible image from your mind. ... your welcome
Flotsam and Jetsam in no particular order
One of the tidbits in Uniwatch's pre season NFL roundup mentioned that several teams were going to debut redesigned uniforms next season. I know it's only mid season but I'm already starting to wonder which teams might be up for changes.
A chat with the Fashion Commissioner highlighted his experience and knowledge when he pointed out that uniform changes tend to follow coaching and or Stadium changes.

So the question is who is changing coaches and who is moving to a new stadium next year? The Rams have already had their coaching change and corresponding uniform changes and we here at FFF salute and welcome them (See divisional power rankings, and other quick hits for details)
The 49ers have Mike Singletary installed as their interim head coach and if he does well could remove that "interim". It's just a hunch but I don't see them making changes.

The Cowboys will be moving into their Gigundo Hunormous new digs next year but I'm hoping they don't make changes since I think theirs is one of the best Unis in the league and they have such a rich history to mine for alternates and throwbacks already

Falcons Ravens Dolphins and Redskins all have new coaches this year but none brought uniform changes with them so they're probably out. I suppose they could have a delayed urge and I wouldn't mind if the Ravens gave it another shot but the Falcons have made mucho changes over the past few years and I wonder if they feel the need to go with a makeover.

Holmgren is retiring in Seattle after this season so maybe they're in for a makeover. This would be great if they get rid of the all solid home configuration which we have ranted against here, but I have to admit that I like their aways and hope they don't get changed.

The Raiders made the mid-season coaching change but they are already rumored to be making changes in that they will use the silver number/lettering on away jerseys next year. I'd be crushed if the Raiders made any wholesale changes as I consider their uni to be bedrock foundation stuff to the NFL uniform world.
The Chargers are planning a new stadium but its still in planning and may be lured to LA by a new stadium there.

The Giants and Jets will be moving into their new home in 2010 so any uni changes corresponding to that move wouldn't take place next season.

The Vikings are planning a new stadium but it's a ways off still and they just did some major renovating on their duds.
Los Angeles is apparently building a football stadium in hopes of luring someone to move with the Vikes, Saints and Chargers listed as possibles. It's all in the negotiating game I guess.

So this brings us to the very edge of my limited span of attention without any real conclusions but a lot of dark amorphous fears that someone may fuck up a classic uniform.

As if I don't have enough to worry about already with my recurrent bouts of "Restless third leg syndrome"

Fun Fun Fun till...

Ok... new feature. It's a little plain vanilla in layout and design but this is good and will just get better ; ) To the right under the "about us" box you will find our brand spanking new football fashion poll/quiz. I'm dying to see if anyone gets this one.

The first one who knows the answer and sends an e-mail with their name and answer to the "contact us" e-mail address from the site http://www.footballfashionfanatics.com/ will win an "all the way" date with the movie star or recording artist of their choice. Yes, we have that kind of pull.
Really. No seriously. Don't believe me? Well, go ahead, be that way. But when some other lucky bastard is rummaging around Natalie Portman's panties you're going to be kicking yourself... right? So what are you waiting for?
Or you can just check the circle corresponding to the right answer and see if you know your football fashion from a hole in the ground... you light in the loafers pantywaist.

Quick hits week 9.
This was an item from two weeks ago... read


Also noteworthy on the Giants side of the ball was the new and unusual helmets worn by both Justin Tuck and Fred Robbins. I think this is the Schutt ION 4d. Anyone know for sure? My problem with it?... Can’t they make their improvements without giving it that dopey Klingon forehead look. It would still be distinctive from other features so please Schutt, lose that pointless protrusion.

Generally, I like Schutt. I even own one myself. I bought it for my ill advised foray back into footall a few years back when I couldn't find a Riddell that fit as well as the Schutt DNA. I love the fit and protection of the helmet but the DNA makes me look like the Great Kazoo cartoon character from the Flintstones when viewed straight on. If forced to choose, I'd take the Klingon look over that but why do I have to? Is it too much to ask to get the look right when innovating?


Continued from above. Now as I see more pictures I get the picture. The picture of Justin Tuck above shows that in fact he's not wearing the Schutt but the Riddell Revolution Speed. (you can see another view of the speed in the post below) They both have that wierd thick raised center but in slightly different configurations. They both sport a futuristic angularity in the facemask department as well as foregoing the traditional round earhole for a parallelogram, rhombus thing that looks like a hole you cut in a jack o lantern. The way to tell these two apart is the raised side facemask anchor point on the Schutt.
I've done extensive research (a quick scan of the first few google hits) an have come to the conclusion that they both look wierd. I don't like the Klingon/alligator look of the Schutt and I don't like the look of the Riddell either. Those center ridges make me want to shoot civilians. Both web articles I read included grandiose claims of how much more shock they can absorb than the current base models and how they really kick ass compared to those old leather models. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Having worn the Schutt DNA which sports the same or similar inner padding I can tell you that I got a few neck stingers while using it and once got so dizzy from a head on collision with a lead blocking fullback that for a moment I wasn't sure if I was in a game or at a good tailgate party. So these things can't be that much better than the standard issue helmet.
My crazy cousin used to play for an amateur team in New York called the Brooklyn Cowboys and he loved to tell stories of how he kept a little cats toy thing with a bell inside the webbing his helmet and how he wouldn't consider the game fun until he'd had a collision violent enough to cause the bell to ring. He played mostly special teams because he was fearless, fast and was just looking to train wreck into someone. He would challenge and dare whoever he lined up against to ring his bell. He also didn't have a good sense of direction after the first quarter or two and a few rings but after a while people started avoiding his charges, opening up lanes enabling him to make plays.
My point is, he'd never be able to be able to get a ring if he was wearing one of these wussified high tech wonders. Like Rams smashing heads or Grizzlies fighting over a Sow, part of the attraction and fun of football is daring the other guy to endure more pain or risk more injury than you and no amount of padding will ever change that. So tell the boys down in R and D to take off their white coats, put away their Poindexter protracters, crack open a tin of suds and go out back for a game of touch. Leave the violence and concussions where they belong... on the field.

Well well well, seems like I called it wrong. i thought The Giants Justin tuck was sporting a Schutt Ion 4d helmet but I think now I was mistaken. While perusing the bible aka Uniwatchblog.com i spied an item identifying the strange new helmet as a Ridell revolution speed. In my defence I will say that the angularity of both models is similar.

Regardless it was a faux paus and I prostrate myself before our legions (3) of loyal readers and promise to .... ah hell I promise nothing. You want accuracy go somewhere else. This blog is more impressionist painting than blueprint.

Not sure if I mentioned it before but noticed that one of the networks upgraded their down and distance graphic to include team colors. Then I noticed another that even included the team logo but left out the arrow. I know it should be obvious but I often watch with people who are new to the sport and I feel that the prupose of the graphic is to make the situation and direction of play obvious. By changing the arrow to an oblong nameplate shape it loses the duh factor. I like the duh factor. Newbies like the duh factor. Bring back the arrow... please.

What a weekend!

Well, the Jets finally won one in the Green pants. And a big one at that. This plus they beat the team who have one of, if not the worst Uniform in the league. That panel outline on the shoulders just reminds me of a ten year old kid wearing a sheet as a pretend superman cape. The helmet is horribly overstriped and they've been sporting a patch associated with a country guilty of harboring a semi french city. Not good.

While I am a fan of the colored or bordered jersey gusset, the Bills side panel is too loud and doesn't match up with the pants stripe in the least. Gotta throw the fashion flag here for flagrant fashion foul.

They also sport a collar that is not only as obnoxiously loud as the gusset, it sticks up in the back like a freakin' polo shirt on a yuppie who thinks wearing his collar up makes him a rebel. Does it get any worse? I've seen this model on a few other teams and it makes me fear for the world my children inherit.

Anyway the big news around here is the Fashion Commissioner himself issuing his counterpoint take on the league wide Fashion Power Rankings. Go to http://www.footballfashionfanatics.com/ click on the associated headline for a full dose of the pointless pontificating you just can't find anywhere else. (unless you include the 8 billion other bloggers doing non-football fashion specific nonsense)

P.S. Big thanks to P squared and Colin the Brit and Danny Rock for helping us get FFF command central back up and running.