Oh no he di-int ! 2

I love the fashion joke aspect of this site so much because women are as much a part of football as the ball itself. There’s always cheerleaders, female sideline reporters and lady fans of all ages. Ritual combat in nature is always about impressin’ the ladies so it’s no surprise that they go so well together… in most situations. You don’t want to spend your time during a crucial game explaining what a touchdown is to some ditz you picked up the night before. There’s a flag right there.
But Sunday afternoon on the couch watching the game usually involves women in some way, whether it’s dealing with the interruptions of a girlfriend or spouse annoyed that your watching the game instead of mowing the lawn or munching the carpet or the women who’ve given up fighting the whole thing and just gotten into watching it with you.
And of course no game feels really complete until you’ve oogled and chuckled at the latest version of the bikini team on that years inane but loveable beer commercial. Hmmmm … beer. But I digress.
The parallels are everywhere. When discussing girlfriends or wives with the guys I’ve often heard them referred to as draft picks and then analyzed to land somewhere on the scale between bonanza and bust. Relationship faux pa’s by the ladies are referred to as “rookie mistakes” …as in “we had two great dates, then when I told her we couldn’t go out Friday because I already had plans to play pool with Dave she got all pissy and said “well, if you’d rather spend the night with your friends than me, go ahead”… after two dates! Nods of assent all around before he wraps up the story with “Rookie mistake”…
Football does not stand alone in any fans world (except maybe Tony Kornholer, since I would imagine most women on the planet would rather spend the night with nuclear waste than him) Women are indispensable ingredient in the mix.
Which brings me to my point. I read Nick Bakay’s column on “Throwbacks that make me throw up” and just loved it. http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d80b462ba&template=with-video&confirm=true
I had just days before put up a post on how I loved the Jets throwback, the NY Titan uniform. Reading Bakay’s column just made me feel like I was a chick and I heard that some other woman who had been to my house had gone to a third party and called my drapes “hideous”. I just love when women trot out that adjective to take a catty swipe at some other women and reading Nick’s column made me feel like someone had called my drapes “hideous”. I felt that little thrill when someone’s fired a shot across your bow and your mind goes on full alert and you start thinking about how to respond.
The first reaction was the, incredibly fun just to think, “Oh no he di-int. He did not just call my Titans uniforms “fecund” …Ricky lake head shake, Oh it’s on” I suddenly felt transported to the set of the Jerry Springer show and could just imagine that bald headed bouncer coming out to restrain me. I’m as twisted as the next guy but have never been into any kind of cross dressing but I must admit a little joy at getting to channel some Ricky Lake head shaker for a moment. And at that moment, I was so happy to have this blog to vent my nonsense to the other two and a half people who get this joke.
First of all I thought “hell, I’m not even sure I remember what “fecund” means. I thought it meant fertile but I guess in this context it must mean “like fertilizer”. I hate it when I have to think about what an insult means before I can respond. Couldn’t Mr. Fancypants have spared us all a trip to the dictionary and just said “they look like crap” ?
Well, I kind of get why he’s not crazy about the Pittsburgh throwback (the other target of his claws) since it’s not a favorite of mine either, and have to admit to really enjoying his well worded rant on the subject, but when it comes to the Jets throwback I heartily disagree and so after hours of work and wordsmithing I’ve come up with the following eloquent rejoinder to Nick Bakay and his manly house of footballs claim that the Jet’s NY Titan throwbacks are “fecund”..... SEZ YOU ! (bitch) ; )

Ken

Oh no he di-int !

Nick Bakay on NFL.com ... http://www.nfl.com/news/author?id=09000d5d80207805 Manly house of football disses the Titans throwbacks. It's like when one woman critisizes another womans choice of drapes, calling them "hideous".... I'm doin' the Ricky Lake head shake and wavin' the finger side to side. Oh, it's on... ( I love it ; ) I will be back with a proper rejoinder

Great e mail points by Stiener

The following e mail came in from Stiener and it makes great points. Check it out

I love the Titan uniforms but this is one problem with them. The color of the numbers are not bright enough so is very hard to read them, especially at the game. I believe they need to be a little brighter. The jets have played 2 of their best games in the last 2 season, yesterday and last year in Dullfin land with them on. We are wearing them at least once more against the Bills. I wonder what the Titans road uniforms looked like? Back then, did they have home and away uniforms? Stien man

The number visibility issue is valid. Perhaps a number outline in lighter yellow... And if I wasn't about to get a massage from the little woman, I'd be all over checking out what the NY Titans away uniforms were. Will get right on that after she love me long time ; )

Stream of consiousness fashion ramblings

First off, I love this pic. No Niners fan myself but the brightness of the gold is reminiscent of Notre Dame the high gloss red of the helmet stripe is a close to the color of fresh blood as I’ve ever seen and I am a fan of the three D effect of the font on the jersey numbering. I think them, the Dolphins and perhaps the Ravens are the only ones who use this effect. However the question this pic brings up in my mind is “Whats up with those knee pads?” They look like little circular pads with a nipple fer chrissake. Is it a kneepad or a post breast cancer prosthesis? Even the thigh pad looks like some kind of truncated sawed off version of a full pad. What’s going on there? Anyone know?

You have to look at the next two photos for my next point, specifically the socks. I love the three horizontal stripes, always have. I’m not sure if these pics are both from last season. I thought the Pats had gone away from the three horizontal stripes but maybe it’s just a home/away thing. Rich? Another burning question… the pant stripe. Is it wide blue middle stripe with red inner border and white outer border that you cant really see on the light pant or is the white outer border added on the blue pants to make the whole stripe configuration more visible?



The Raiders have perhaps the most classic uniform in all of football with Green Bay running a close second. The silver and black just work and never seem to loose ground. Just look at the beauty and simplicity of the parts and how they come together to make the whole shine. The most simple and basic pant stripe is a prime example of not having to fancy up every detail. Left alone to work in concert with the other elements make it a rare exception. The parts of this uniform exemplify the team concept of the sport applied to the uniform.

Let’s talk helmet stripes. Over the past decade or so the helmet stripe has come into its own and here are two great examples in one photo. The Titans are one of only two teams featuring the front to back fading double stripe and the Broncos are the only team with a back to front fading stripe. Whereas Carolina has a front to back fading double stripe but with an added twist… they curl out away from the center just
after passing the top of the helmet. Yeah baby!

The pic of the Falcon also shows a new level of detail and sophistication on the Jersey design especially around the shoulder. The pinstripe borders, the multi color insert panels, the collar detail…. That’s a sharp shirt. It’s a bit like the Cardinals new one in that way. On that subject I love the Cardinals pinstripe pant stripe that comes down and bell bottoms out around the knee, very unique. It’s not my favorite but I like this Denver pant stripe that curls forward and how it’s matched by the jersey gusset/stripe that curls in around the pec. It may not be everyones cup of tea but the logo and uniform redesign are, I think, an improvement over the old orange crush days. And hell, they won a super bowl in it so who can complain? Not big on the number font though. Above the Panther pantstripe is also kind of unique in starting out ultra fat at the top and narrowing to a point at the knee.

It’s a brave new world in NFL fashion these days but as we’ll see in future columns change has been constant over the football years, just not at this pace and level of innovation. Time for this columnist to go off and peruse some cheerleader photo galleries and maybe even get helmet drunk. See you next time football fashion fans and keep those comments and tips coming !

Stand on the issues

Platform 2008
1. Solid dark pants with Dark jersey. Thumbs down... too college looking. Look at the Saints with Black pants and jersey... does that look right to you?

2. Captains patch. Thumbs down... too many freakin' patches as it is. Too many patches plus logo creep (hat tip to Uniwatch) and the jerseys become a big mess. Is this the NFL or some cheesy european soccer league?

3. Sock striping. Thumbs up. Horizontal striping ala the Bears, Pats, etc with the triple and the Jets with the double. It just says football. There should be more of it.

4. The Chargers re-design. Big thumbs down. Turning the shoulder bolt from vertical to horizontal was bad enough. Putting the white curved backdrop patch behind it just makes me want to puke.

5. The Bills playing in Canada. Thumbs down. London is one thing, but Canada has the CFL. If Ralph Wilson can't make money in Buffalo, move the team to Los Angeles.

6. Most recent ball re-design. Big thumbs down. Calling it the Duke again is a welcome and fitting tribute but the big gaudy NFL shield is just over the top. Is there anyone in the NFL design world that appreciates the beauty in simplicity, subtlety. Anyone grasp the idea that sometimes less is more?

7. A little wish list here... Wouldn't it be great if games in which the teams wore throwback uniforms they wore those old fashioned spikes with the white belt around the opening of the shoe? And how about using an era accurate ball, as in a Rozelle model game ball or an original design duke for uniforms from that time?...

He didn't look old to me...neither did the uniform

Last week all the NY papers were on about how Farve looked old. Never mind that our man Brett has been having several multiple pick games every season since he was playing in diapers. Still somehow he manages to forge a hall of fame career. That stat isn't a sign of age you freakin' ninnies, its just part and parcel of his style of play.
So if we wanna go with the ridiculous trend from last week and put a positive spin on it, lets focus this week on his career stats while playing in the Titan throwback uni. Start with the six touchdown passes in one game.
Hey theres an idea... stats while in a certain uniform. I know theres a team version somewhere. (anyone know where?) but I bet individual hasn't been done.
Extra note on the Cards uni's. I love how they took what was originally the Denver curling pant stripe and let the pinstripe borders come down and then curl around and diving straight down in the middle of the front of the leg. The curling stripe was cool, this little addition puts a high gloss chrome finish on the idea. Well played ; )

New podcast and Titan uni!

Check out the site for a new podcast! It's a little throwback discussion. The panel discusses the shoe on Joe Thiesmans broken leg!

In other fashion news the Jets will be wearing their throwback Titan uni's against the Cardinals today. This is a great matchup. I love the Titan uniform and I love what the Cardinals have done with their uniform in the past few years.The Titan helmet, devoid of logo, to me is like Mike Tyson in his heydey coming out with no sock. It just says "warrior". No frills smash mouth uniform baby! (I'm really out of hand with the exclamation points today eh?. What can I say I'm excited)

The thin horizontal striping on the sox is a perfect accent and the single helmet stripe goes together with the classic triple band over sholder striping like a zztop, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Cream caliber power trio. Yeah its elements are few in number but it roars down the field (visually) like a fucking Mack Truck. Bring it on Brenda Warners husband, WE'RE READY FOR YA!

But giving credit where it's due the Card uni is no slouch either. The innovation and creativity with the upper shoulder panels and the bold fading stripe in the pant legs goes where few football uni's have gone but still doesn't step over the line into "Fabulouuus" The gusset piping works... the collar piping, not so much. Overall it does a great job of looking totally new but still recogognizeable as the Cardinals of era's past. Kudo's to whoever oversaw this re-design.

Gentlemen, don your uni's. (pardon me while I channel Mills Lane here) LET'S GET IT ON !The Steelers will be wearing their throwbacks on the National stage on MNF tomorrow. More on that later ...