I love the fashion joke aspect of this site so much because women are as much a part of football as the ball itself. There’s always cheerleaders, female sideline reporters and lady fans of all ages. Ritual combat in nature is always about impressin’ the ladies so it’s no surprise that they go so well together… in most situations. You don’t want to spend your time during a crucial game explaining what a touchdown is to some ditz you picked up the night before. There’s a flag right there.
But Sunday afternoon on the couch watching the game usually involves women in some way, whether it’s dealing with the interruptions of a girlfriend or spouse annoyed that your watching the game instead of mowing the lawn or munching the carpet or the women who’ve given up fighting the whole thing and just gotten into watching it with you.
And of course no game feels really complete until you’ve oogled and chuckled at the latest version of the bikini team on that years inane but loveable beer commercial. Hmmmm … beer. But I digress.
The parallels are everywhere. When discussing girlfriends or wives with the guys I’ve often heard them referred to as draft picks and then analyzed to land somewhere on the scale between bonanza and bust. Relationship faux pa’s by the ladies are referred to as “rookie mistakes” …as in “we had two great dates, then when I told her we couldn’t go out Friday because I already had plans to play pool with Dave she got all pissy and said “well, if you’d rather spend the night with your friends than me, go ahead”… after two dates! Nods of assent all around before he wraps up the story with “Rookie mistake”…
Football does not stand alone in any fans world (except maybe Tony Kornholer, since I would imagine most women on the planet would rather spend the night with nuclear waste than him) Women are indispensable ingredient in the mix.
Which brings me to my point. I read Nick Bakay’s column on “Throwbacks that make me throw up” and just loved it. http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d80b462ba&template=with-video&confirm=true
I had just days before put up a post on how I loved the Jets throwback, the NY Titan uniform. Reading Bakay’s column just made me feel like I was a chick and I heard that some other woman who had been to my house had gone to a third party and called my drapes “hideous”. I just love when women trot out that adjective to take a catty swipe at some other women and reading Nick’s column made me feel like someone had called my drapes “hideous”. I felt that little thrill when someone’s fired a shot across your bow and your mind goes on full alert and you start thinking about how to respond.
The first reaction was the, incredibly fun just to think, “Oh no he di-int. He did not just call my Titans uniforms “fecund” …Ricky lake head shake, Oh it’s on” I suddenly felt transported to the set of the Jerry Springer show and could just imagine that bald headed bouncer coming out to restrain me. I’m as twisted as the next guy but have never been into any kind of cross dressing but I must admit a little joy at getting to channel some Ricky Lake head shaker for a moment. And at that moment, I was so happy to have this blog to vent my nonsense to the other two and a half people who get this joke.
First of all I thought “hell, I’m not even sure I remember what “fecund” means. I thought it meant fertile but I guess in this context it must mean “like fertilizer”. I hate it when I have to think about what an insult means before I can respond. Couldn’t Mr. Fancypants have spared us all a trip to the dictionary and just said “they look like crap” ?
Well, I kind of get why he’s not crazy about the Pittsburgh throwback (the other target of his claws) since it’s not a favorite of mine either, and have to admit to really enjoying his well worded rant on the subject, but when it comes to the Jets throwback I heartily disagree and so after hours of work and wordsmithing I’ve come up with the following eloquent rejoinder to Nick Bakay and his manly house of footballs claim that the Jet’s NY Titan throwbacks are “fecund”..... SEZ YOU ! (bitch) ; )
Ken
But Sunday afternoon on the couch watching the game usually involves women in some way, whether it’s dealing with the interruptions of a girlfriend or spouse annoyed that your watching the game instead of mowing the lawn or munching the carpet or the women who’ve given up fighting the whole thing and just gotten into watching it with you.
And of course no game feels really complete until you’ve oogled and chuckled at the latest version of the bikini team on that years inane but loveable beer commercial. Hmmmm … beer. But I digress.
The parallels are everywhere. When discussing girlfriends or wives with the guys I’ve often heard them referred to as draft picks and then analyzed to land somewhere on the scale between bonanza and bust. Relationship faux pa’s by the ladies are referred to as “rookie mistakes” …as in “we had two great dates, then when I told her we couldn’t go out Friday because I already had plans to play pool with Dave she got all pissy and said “well, if you’d rather spend the night with your friends than me, go ahead”… after two dates! Nods of assent all around before he wraps up the story with “Rookie mistake”…
Football does not stand alone in any fans world (except maybe Tony Kornholer, since I would imagine most women on the planet would rather spend the night with nuclear waste than him) Women are indispensable ingredient in the mix.
Which brings me to my point. I read Nick Bakay’s column on “Throwbacks that make me throw up” and just loved it. http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d80b462ba&template=with-video&confirm=true
I had just days before put up a post on how I loved the Jets throwback, the NY Titan uniform. Reading Bakay’s column just made me feel like I was a chick and I heard that some other woman who had been to my house had gone to a third party and called my drapes “hideous”. I just love when women trot out that adjective to take a catty swipe at some other women and reading Nick’s column made me feel like someone had called my drapes “hideous”. I felt that little thrill when someone’s fired a shot across your bow and your mind goes on full alert and you start thinking about how to respond.
The first reaction was the, incredibly fun just to think, “Oh no he di-int. He did not just call my Titans uniforms “fecund” …Ricky lake head shake, Oh it’s on” I suddenly felt transported to the set of the Jerry Springer show and could just imagine that bald headed bouncer coming out to restrain me. I’m as twisted as the next guy but have never been into any kind of cross dressing but I must admit a little joy at getting to channel some Ricky Lake head shaker for a moment. And at that moment, I was so happy to have this blog to vent my nonsense to the other two and a half people who get this joke.
First of all I thought “hell, I’m not even sure I remember what “fecund” means. I thought it meant fertile but I guess in this context it must mean “like fertilizer”. I hate it when I have to think about what an insult means before I can respond. Couldn’t Mr. Fancypants have spared us all a trip to the dictionary and just said “they look like crap” ?
Well, I kind of get why he’s not crazy about the Pittsburgh throwback (the other target of his claws) since it’s not a favorite of mine either, and have to admit to really enjoying his well worded rant on the subject, but when it comes to the Jets throwback I heartily disagree and so after hours of work and wordsmithing I’ve come up with the following eloquent rejoinder to Nick Bakay and his manly house of footballs claim that the Jet’s NY Titan throwbacks are “fecund”..... SEZ YOU ! (bitch) ; )
Ken
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1 comment:
Hey! Old man river! Could you diskuss some current events too so we who didnt exist during the civil war can participate. And post more pictures tho what you are discussing. Its kind of hard to follow when you cant see it. Specially for a rookie like me.
There you go Ken! Your first of many hatemails! Dannerock
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