I wanted to do a little bit on sideline reporters. Particularly that one that looks like Underdogs girlfriend Sweet Polly Purebread. The cartoon is Underdog so all the main characters are animated dogs, so even if Polly is sweet and Pure she is a dog. Need I say more? Then there's the one that resembles the 7 that bartends at your local dive. Michelle something or other I think is the name of that sad excuse for sideline snizz. She resembles that bartender. You know the one I'm talkin' about. She works at the place that sucks but it's walking distance so going there means you don't have to worry about driving home. You rarely go to the miserable hole in the wall and you rarely think about her but on the odd occasion that you end up there she might be the only thing in possesion of two x chromosones and if the tube is showing some of that Olympic crap with 12 year old children twirling sticks with ribbons attached... well, what's a guy supposed to do with his eyes?
6 or 8 beers later she's lookin' downright doable and you're looking forward to her walking to the other end of the bar so you can stare at her 7 ass which has, through the magic of alcohol, become an 8 and a 1/2 ass. It, of course, goes nowhere because she's already got you pegged as a loser for being there at all and doing a poor job of hiding your staring at her female parts every chance you get. The next day the whole thing will be forgotten and you'll feel no inclination to go back and indeed wonder why you didn't just go home earlier.
So where is the 7 in that crowd I ask you? Why aren't any of these obviously talented sports professionals trading witty barbs with Goose 'n Moose? Why aren't Madden, Micheals and Dierdof and Simms calling their numbers? Can't someone start a petition to can Michelle whats her name and Sweet Polly purebread? If they can take the time to redesign the NFL logo, ball, change instant replay rules, dream up new ways to turn fans upside down and shake more money out of them through PSL's, surely they can correct/improve this aspect of the viewing experience. Can I get an amen?
6 or 8 beers later she's lookin' downright doable and you're looking forward to her walking to the other end of the bar so you can stare at her 7 ass which has, through the magic of alcohol, become an 8 and a 1/2 ass. It, of course, goes nowhere because she's already got you pegged as a loser for being there at all and doing a poor job of hiding your staring at her female parts every chance you get. The next day the whole thing will be forgotten and you'll feel no inclination to go back and indeed wonder why you didn't just go home earlier.
My point is ... what the hell are women of this caliber doing on all the big NFL broadcasts? I don't want my sideline updates from some "gal" with real sports knowledge. I want a broad so hot she makes my eyeballs melt and my pulse race at first site. I don't care if she gets all here commentary fed to her through an earpiece. The broadcasts are already loaded with authentic expert commentary. Do we really need to pretend the sideline reporter is anything more than eye candy? Can't I just have my 15 second sexual fantasy with a desireable woman before we get back to the action on the field? Is that too much to ask?
It irks me everytime. So I decided to go look for a picture or two of these two woofers but when I type in sideline reporters, you know what I get? This
Yeah, thats right. She doesnt look like Underdogs girlfriend does she? And how about this one?
So where is the 7 in that crowd I ask you? Why aren't any of these obviously talented sports professionals trading witty barbs with Goose 'n Moose? Why aren't Madden, Micheals and Dierdof and Simms calling their numbers? Can't someone start a petition to can Michelle whats her name and Sweet Polly purebread? If they can take the time to redesign the NFL logo, ball, change instant replay rules, dream up new ways to turn fans upside down and shake more money out of them through PSL's, surely they can correct/improve this aspect of the viewing experience. Can I get an amen?
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