The Spatwrap cleat cover, the debris inhibitor, Cleat Shoe Cover, The Sports Spat. These are the names for the various models of this new craze currently sweeping the football nation. (yeah, I know they've been around for a while but I just love using any variation of the phrase "craze sweeping the nation") My first reaction is to go with the ol' "What will they think of next" cliche, but it has kinda been done before. I seem to recall a lot of players that just taped their shoes to achieve the solid white look. And considering those black rubber or rubber-like elbow covers I suppose it was just a matter of time till they migrated down to the shoes.
I'm not altogether sure how I feel about this. I love innovation especially when it's an accessory and it's all about the look. And I give it bonus fashion love for being pointless. Debris inhibitor?... yeah right. Try as I might I can't recall a single episode of football related performance being inhibited by debris lodged in a shoelace or some of that ever present field debris affecting a play....
...no wait... there was that time when the Oilers Bille Johnson was on the verge of breaking another big kickoff return when the fishing line hanging off a piece of driftwood lying on the 47 yard line got snagged in the Nike logo tip that was protruding a 32nd of an inch from the side of his shoe and ... well we've all been there before, trying to outrun some closing cornerback while attempting to shake loose from 16 pounds of water logged driftwood covered with tangled knots of 20 pound test polyethylene line and the odd barnacle.
I hate when that happens! But now that I think of it that was right before he became famous as Billie WHITE SHOES Johnson. And he made his shoes all white by covering them with tape. Eureka, I've traces the origins of the Sports spat debris inhibitor right here in this unlikely stream of consciousness!
And so it only took another 20 years after Billie hung up his white shoes to come up with a solution accessible to every player. Of course back then they figured that 20 years hence we'd all have those Jetsons flying cars but hey, at least these new babies are available in team specific colors. And they have pre-cut holes for the cleats. Cooool.
I do have a problem with the toe however. Billy covered the whole shoe. If the shoe above was already red and covered with a red spat I'd like it better. This is like when I first noticed this new doo-dad it was a black spat on a black shoe, like in the first picture above. I know that technically a spat doesn't cover a whole shoe but the only person I can think of who wore spats was Scrooge McDuck and really, he wasn't even close to being as cool as even the lowliest bench warming scrub on the 70's Saints.
I'm not altogether sure how I feel about this. I love innovation especially when it's an accessory and it's all about the look. And I give it bonus fashion love for being pointless. Debris inhibitor?... yeah right. Try as I might I can't recall a single episode of football related performance being inhibited by debris lodged in a shoelace or some of that ever present field debris affecting a play....
...no wait... there was that time when the Oilers Bille Johnson was on the verge of breaking another big kickoff return when the fishing line hanging off a piece of driftwood lying on the 47 yard line got snagged in the Nike logo tip that was protruding a 32nd of an inch from the side of his shoe and ... well we've all been there before, trying to outrun some closing cornerback while attempting to shake loose from 16 pounds of water logged driftwood covered with tangled knots of 20 pound test polyethylene line and the odd barnacle.
I hate when that happens! But now that I think of it that was right before he became famous as Billie WHITE SHOES Johnson. And he made his shoes all white by covering them with tape. Eureka, I've traces the origins of the Sports spat debris inhibitor right here in this unlikely stream of consciousness!
And so it only took another 20 years after Billie hung up his white shoes to come up with a solution accessible to every player. Of course back then they figured that 20 years hence we'd all have those Jetsons flying cars but hey, at least these new babies are available in team specific colors. And they have pre-cut holes for the cleats. Cooool.
I do have a problem with the toe however. Billy covered the whole shoe. If the shoe above was already red and covered with a red spat I'd like it better. This is like when I first noticed this new doo-dad it was a black spat on a black shoe, like in the first picture above. I know that technically a spat doesn't cover a whole shoe but the only person I can think of who wore spats was Scrooge McDuck and really, he wasn't even close to being as cool as even the lowliest bench warming scrub on the 70's Saints.
And really, don't you think it just a matter of time till sharp corner of the bumper of a 78 Chrysler catches in that open toe? Someone's going to lose a million dollar bonus performance incentive over this.I know a few Savage lawyers that'll be lined up to represent that player against the company foolish enough to claim they're "Debris Inhibitors"
And who knows maybe the Gods of Irony will smile on the situation and the Blood sucking shyster that runs the Debris Inhibitor into bankruptcy will use his cut of the Multi million dollar award to go out and by him or herself a set of real spats...
Ken
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2 comments:
You have obviously never been on a field turf or artificial playing surface. The stuff is aggravating and has been proven to be a nuisance.
do they still make the kind that covers the whole cleat?
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